


Pieces of self and time

by AliaMael



Series: Down to ashes and back [2]
Category: Vampire: The Masquerade, Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-07 15:03:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14083551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliaMael/pseuds/AliaMael
Summary: At first, it got worse.But then, slowly, it got better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These are just snippets without an overarching plot. This work is marked as finished, but maybe I'll add more chapters if I get more ideas. Enjoy ;)

At first, it got worse.

LaCroix just… shut down. He was not catatonic, but it was a close thing. He didn't talk anymore, not even to answer Nines. When it was any other Anarch in the room with him, he didn't react and went on gazing into the void. He only looked up when he heard Nines' voice, and even then it was an emotionless gesture.

After four nights like this, Damsel deigned to talk to Nines again.

"The guy is mental," she asserted. "You sure no one did something to him? He acts like… I dunno, maybe a Malk made him crazy, or someone wiped his mind…"  
"I don't think so…" Nines tried to answer.  
"Or Strauss did something to him. He's a fucking Tremere, he could probably do anything gross like this! Or he taught the girl to do it? She works with him now doesn't she?"

Nines looked at LaCroix. He was sitting still, looking small in his oversized hoodie, and his eyes were vacant like those of a statue. No, scratch that, Nines had seen sculptures more lifelike than LaCroix.

"Nines?"  
"I don't know, Damsel… I don't think someone deliberately broke him. Not recently, anyway," he amended.  
"What do you mean?"

He wasn't quite sure himself. Was it possible that LaCroix's state was just… an accident? Something no one wanted, which happened like life happens, unexpected but inevitable? Or did LaCroix's Sire shape his Child to be unstable so he could always keep him under control?

"Nines, I swear if you become mute like him I'm gonna punch you until you speak again!"  
"Sorry Damsel. I… really don't know what to tell you," Nines admitted.  
"You worry about _him_. _You_ 're mental."  
"Probably, yeah."

Damsel sighed and left.

That morning, lying down in his bed with sleep eluding him, Nines had to acknowledge he was lowkey panicking. He couldn't abandon LaCroix, but _what could he do_? He'd been trying to get him to talk or move for nights now, and nothing changed. What did LaCroix need? (… _Whom_ did LaCroix need? Certainly not him.) And what about hunting? Would LaCroix be able to hunt? Nines couldn't even give him any blood bag lying around, he was a fucking _Ventrue_!

When the sun called torpor upon him, it was a blessing.

But…

But then, slowly, it got better.

It came as a surprise. Nines was explaining to LaCroix that he wanted him to go hunting before he frenzied from hunger, obtaining no reaction. He was getting seriously antsy by now.

"Sebastian, I know you hear me…" Nines soldiered on. "You understand what I say, don't you? So won't you answer me? Please?"

LaCroix stared. Nines sighed.

"Listen, you _need_ to hunt, period," Nines tried, his voice firmer. "And I need to know if you can do it by yourself. So _answer me_! Can. You. Hunt?"  
"… yes."

Nines froze. Then a tentative smile found his way to his lips.

"Sebastian?"

Mute again. But weak as it had been, it was his voice, and that was definitely better than the absolute silence of the last four nights.

When LaCroix went out, Nines hesitated, then trailed him. He was not so sure that LaCroix would be alright on his own.

He was so wrong. Among humans, LaCroix was… not exactly back to the arrogant persona Nines knew, but close enough. He was a lot more _charming_ , truth be told. But he seemed assured. At ease. And even if Nines was too far away to hear him, he was obviously _talking_.

Nines turned back to the Last Round as soon as LaCroix caught a prey. Watching him feed would have been… too intimate. Besides, Nines was a little bit upset, if he was honest with himself. He was truly not what LaCroix needed to get better. Maybe all LaCroix needed was to be left alone for a while, just mingling with Kine.

But LaCroix came back as if he had always lived with the Anarchs. Maybe Nines was being too hard on himself. Maybe there was something in him that LaCroix sought. Even if it was just someone not wanting him dead.

In the following nights, Nines learnt that he could coax LaCroix into answering binary questions. It was such a relief that Damsel caught him smiling stupidly at nothing several times, and shot him a disgusted look every one of them.

Then Nines dared touching LaCroix again, and he _melted_ against him. Nines called himself an idiot. Why exactly had he feared to hug him? He couldn't remember. Something about not forcing himself upon him when he was not in any shape to say no?

Such bullshit.

Damsel went back to aggressively ignore him for three nights when she saw that LaCroix was now never farther from Nines than holding hands allowed (and often closer). It was worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

Skelter is manning the bar, with no idea where the hell Nines has disappeared, when Strauss' lapdog enters the Last Round. It's frustrating that she still looks exactly the same. She'd been friendly, then, but in the end chose the Camarilla. Typical cammie, lying and deceiving, never honest.

Of course, she comes straight to him.

"Hey, Skelter," she greats.  
"Hey, _Sheriff_ ," Skelter answers.

She sighs.

"Will no one ever remember that I have a name?"  
"Don't remember you _deserving_ an effort," Skelter counters. "What are you doing here?"

She looks around her, as if looking for someone.

"Nines' not here," he adds. "Would probably kick you out, if he was."  
"I'm not looking for Nines. I heard some… rumors… about LaCroix coming into here two nights ago."

Skelter tenses. She sees it and offers him a cold smile.

"Oh, so it's true then?"  
"Who the hell told you that?"

She seems amused.

"Oh, you know, the grapevine…"

She's not going to answer, that much is obvious. She waits.

Skelter is tempted, _really_ tempted to just tell her that yeah, LaCroix was here, is still here, and she can do whatever she wants about him as long as it's _far from here_. But Nines would kick his ass when he finds out. And…

And, honestly, he doesn't think he can give her what she wants, because even if LaCroix's _body_ is here, he's not the same man anymore. If he's still a man. Right now he's closer to mobile furniture.

"I haven't seen him since the night you gave LA to Strauss," Skelter answers truthfully. "Do you really think anyone here would let him come inside? And even if he _was_ here, you'd hear Damsel yell at him up to Venture tower."

She winces.

"Yeah, probably," she agrees.

She hesitates, then seems to realise she's _not_ welcome here. She nods at Skelter and leaves.

Skelter watches until she passes the door, then looks down. Hidden behind the counter, where clients cannot see him, Sebastian sits on the floor, his face against his knees. Unmoving.

(It's weird to think of him as "Sebastian", but it's still less weird than calling that mute guy disappearing into his oversized hoodie "LaCroix".)

Skelter contains a sigh. When Nines goes out, Sebastian often ends up here, and he still doesn't understand why. He doesn't know if he's relieved or disappointed that Sebastian didn't react to the Sheriff's questions at all.

"Thank you," a low voice murmurs.

Skelter blinks incredulously at Sebastian. He hasn't moved.

As far as Skelter knows, it's the first time Sebastian has talked without being prompted since he's here. Skelter doesn't know how to react so, for once, it's him who stays silent.


	3. Chapter 3

Nines was a fucking Care Bear, Skelter refused to remember that Sebastian had been LaCroix before, and Jack had just. Freaking. Disappeared. Damsel felt like breaking something. Or someone. Seriously, since when was she supposed to be the only one here with _eyes_ and a _brain_?

Sure, the guy had some serious problems. So what? That didn't suddenly negate all he had done! He'd been a power hungry bastard, he'd tried to get the Anarchs killed, sent even his own men to death, made an alliance with the Kuei-jin… How the fuck could Nines forget that LaCroix had called a Blood Hunt on him?

True, he probably wouldn't do these kinds of things anymore. Even Damsel had to admit it. Sebastian was… different. But still. He was change stacked upon the same foundations, the same past. She couldn't let her guard down, and the trust that Nines and even Skelter showed was only more reason to keep watching the Ventrue.

"Damsel, could you please stop glaring at Sebastian like that? You're frightening him."

She turned her glare to Nines instead. In the last weeks, she had learnt that it was useless to get into an argument over that sort of demand. But it wouldn't keep her from making sure Nines knew she was mad at him.

Nines sighed. She waited a few more seconds, then trampled out.

In the nights following Sebastian's adoption by Nines, Damsel had been seriously convinced the Ventrue's attitude was an act. He had escaped being killed by his own pawn by who knows what miracle, and it seemed logical that he would do anything to stay alive. Even painting himself in such unflattering colors. It worked on Nines. Nines believed him. LaCroix was manipulating him to get his protection against the other Anarchs and the Camarilla.

Except after several nights of seeing him mute, unresponsive, looking just… broken, Damsel had started to doubt. Would he _really_ go that far?

She considered every possibility. Dementiation, Domination, a Tzimisce usurping his face, a repeat of the Grout disaster…

But Nines was so sure it was truly LaCroix. Broken, crumbled, but LaCroix.

She believed him, now. No one could have any kind of interest in acting like this, for this long. It had to be genuine. Nines had just been the first to see the fault lines in him, even before they opened wide.

Sebastian needed some serious help, that was for sure. Whatever happened to him, Damsel wouldn't wish it to anyone else. She wasn't even sure _he_ deserved it, and he'd been a right bastard. But someone had to remember, to keep him accountable. Nines would obviously not do it, and Skelter, that _traitor_ , had decided to treat Sebastian as a whole different person than LaCroix.

She wouldn't sell his ass to Strauss, but she wouldn't be kind either.

Some things you cannot just forgive.


End file.
